A week and a half ago, I drove down to Los Angeles for the honor of standing beside Keisha, my good friend of sixteen years, to stand beside her as a bridesmaid in her wedding. The drive down felt like uncharted territory, and it was. This friend and I had walked through seasons of desire, singleness, hardship, and struggle. We had seen her break barriers of being the first in her family to attend college, we endured the years in my twenties when anxiety was the major theme, and we navigated the inevitable toggle from faith to faith, glory to glory. A great blessing of her wedding was that it brought us together with another life friend with whom I have more recently grown apart. This celebration of life and love ushered in beautiful moments to pause and honor what has been as well as what now has become.
Keisha and Terah’s wedding reception was held in a beautiful, regal, plantation- style home overlooking the beach in Santa Monica. As the sun sank to the horizon, bridesmaids and groomsmen sauntered their way down the aisle in shades of navy and marigold to tunes crafted by the groom himself. The bride emerged, in her quiet, everbearing beauty, escorted by both of her fathers. She wore a classically beautiful gown, glowing brown skin, her lips painted a vibrant crimson. She made her way up the steps on which her maids stood, climbing to meet her groom at the top of the porch, were elders were seated. The ceremony was short, sweet, and filled with joy. At the end of their moment of covenant, bride and groom jumped the broom!
Keisha and Terah’s wedding day passed quickly, but one moment stands out from the weekend in my mind. Bridesmaids are each appointed their different duties in getting a bride to her next destination. Keisha had asked me to MC the games for the bridal shower, and at the end of my [hot, sandy, and silly] duties, I passed the mic to the bride.
“I would not be the person I am today without each and every one of you,” she shared. “You all have helped to make me who I am. In my marriage, I am going to be representing each of you.”
My friend has always been a wise, calm, sister to me, so to watch the narrative of her romantic history change so completely, so quickly, was a testament of joy to those of us still discerning the path before marital joy.
Because I love to go deep, I Googled “blue and gold spiritual meanings.” Here is what I found:
Gold represents: “Higher ideals, wisdom, understanding, and enlightenment. It inspires knowledge, spirituality, and a deep understanding of ourselves and our souls. In terms of colors, gold is generous and giving, compassionate, and loving.”
Blue represents: “The sky and the sea and is associated with open spaces, freedom, intuition, imagination, inspiration, and sensitivity. Blue also represents meanings of depth, trust, loyalty, sincerity, wisdom, confidence, stability, faith, and intelligence.”
Making my way down to Keisha’s wedding was uncharted territory not only because I was going to witness a good friend step into her next season of life as a married woman, but also because the road I took there was definitively different than that which I had journeyed before. Not just interstate-wise, but emotionally.
See, while my twenties were a season of navigating the turbulence of my emotional life, I have begun to realize my thirties are all about re-defining my theology based on who the Holy Spirit has led me to become. In my twenties, I was invited to stand next to my cousin in her wedding, and I was so wracked with anxiety that I wasn’t sure if I could manage it. I’ve come far from that place in the ten years since. In partnership with God, I began to choose to invite in the truth of who I am.
Who I am now is a woman who is not afraid to invite in the wild and the honest. Who I am is now courageous enough to name where I stand and understand not everyone will understand. Who I am now is someone who accepts her story, and has greater understanding of the power and call on her life. And who I am now is not afraid to be seen for who she is, nor to stand in the power and truth of her story. To mirror Keisha’s words, who I am now is because of so many wonderful women…my mother, my aunts, the life friends who have become family… Women who have been courageous, brave, hilarious, and vulnerable in their walks alongside. Folks who are old, who are new, who have grown in other directions…I pause to remember and celebrate who we were, who we are, and who we are becoming.
My wise friend Keisha is always teaching me something, and in this instance, her example was:
“Remember from where you have come. Honor those who got you there. Remember, and even in doing so, don’t be afraid to move forward. Embrace God’s love, believe in abundance.”
On her bachelorette weekend, the consensus among her maids and friends was that it makes total sense for Keisha to have fallen in love with a Ugandan man, because so much of how she operates is based out of the belief of “Ubuntu”: an African proverb meaning “I am because we are.”
Move forward in joy and power, Miss Shipley. I know you will set that example for us. Ahem, I mean, Mrs. Kasozi!
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