Called by Name

Since I gave my big YES to the Holy Spirit in 2016, when out of nowhere Ruach lead me to a tiny seminary school in Seattle which would deeply impact my life, I have felt that my life's calling is to create spaces of emotional healing, through art, writing, and community. This reality began to take shape in small ways, from being vulnerable in community, to co-facilitating a students of color processing group in grad school, to hosting and co-leading a black women's group in Seattle, a city where Black community is key.

Since returning to my native Bay Area in February 2020, just a heartbeat ahead of the global pandemic, the shape of this work has taken a different form. I began writing my second book [this one on re-defining theology]. I continued painting, and after purchasing my home six months ago, turned my garage into my studio. The work has changed in different seasons, but I still feel called by my name: "Heather" - a flower which blooms amongst the rocky places; "Dawn" - the first appearance of light or daybreak.

I strongly believe in the meaning of names. Four months ago, today, I lost my beloved in a senseless car accident at the hands of a drunk driver. His name, "Brandon" - means prince, or king. We have realized, in the wake of his death, that that is exactly what he was to his community. The legacy he left still reverberates even as he flies across the heavens, and we experience both joy and pain in his absence.

This Easter, I have heard more than one message about being "called by name." The message that it was Jesus' calling of Mary Magdalene's name that awoke her to her calling; that awoke her to the sound of his voice.

I consider the meaning of a name as I stare into the eyes of my beautiful new nephew, who first opened them two months ago. Turner Briggs has my sister's dimple, my brother's nose, and his own personality and life yet to be revealed. "Turner" means relating to those who made objects by using a lathe, turning wood or metal to finish them. More rarely Turner can refer to someone who runs or takes part in a tournament, or can be related to someone who is noted to be fast at running, a 'turnhare.' Briggs is derived from the word 'bridges.' Will this infant grow to be one whose life honors the grandmothers for whom he was named?

I love a good name. A good word can change the game.

In the four months since I have been able to hug B, to look into his eyes, to meet his laugh with mine, I have been met with beauty, acute sorrow, joy, and pain. I have been so met by community, both his and mine. You all have been there to laugh, scream, cry, break things, eat food, and learn how to breathe again. This life is done together. Our stories impact each other.

This is why I believe creating spaces of emotional healing is so important. How we show up in truth and honestly before one another determines how fully we can encounter one another. Perhaps most importantly, seasons of life cannot be endured alone. Life is most full when we do it together.

I still don't know why this happened to B, to his family, to us, to me. In this season, I am sitting underneath a [grove of] tree[s] and resting awhile, waiting for the words to come. But I still feel called by name. I still think our lives our most changed when we hear our names on the lips of the Spirit.