Throughout the pandemic, I haven't been writing nearly as much as is my norm. Being physically isolated from 90% of the people in my life for more than a year didn't so much inspire creativity as it did resigned acceptance and a reliance on the coping measures I've learned to lean on throughout my adult life. Self-care (which for me, meant lots of baths, do-it-yourself manicures, walks with the dog, red wine, and Netflix) was of the utmost importance during this time. Self-care got me through.
Last week, Simone Biles, Olympic champion, 24-year-old, brown-skinned girl, embodied self-care for every Black woman, ever, who has ever been told that performance, or out-put ---or medals---are what we are here to do. Biles, in a single moment, chose herself and her mental health and well-being on the world stage. In doing so, she shattered the lie that Black women are, as Alice Walker so frankly named it, "The mule of the world."
Similarly, Naomi Osaka, tennis champion and daughter of a Japanese mother and Haitian father, modeled self-care when she withdrew from the French Open to tend to her mental health, naming, "It is OK to not be OK."
To some, this may not seem like one of the bravest, most prophetic acts a Black woman can do, but let me tell you ---in a society literally built on the backs of Black men and women---it is. With Black women so often being subject to the most heinous oppression (from being raped in plantation fields to birthing children of their oppressors and then returning their bodies and their children to them out of lack of choice; to raising and loving not only their own but other people's children throughout the ages, often giving all of themselves to the process; to the modern-day, educated Black woman who, even in present day, earns 63 cents to every dollar white males in the same roles make), to chose to care for oneself instead of pushing through to perform for others requires so much inner strength...especially when the world is watching.
In order to chose themselves in a society which was built on values of Manifest Destiny, capitalism, and winning, Simone (and Naomi) chose care for self. Simone didn't just do a thing. She is a thing. In choosing to say "no" to a competition to say "yes" to her own worthiness, Simone displayed a tremendous amount of courage, and a strength which goes far beyond the physical, but into the depths of the emotional. Her embodied self-love demanded that the world see her as so much more than the "mule" Walker referenced in her work. She demanded that the world see her as "the goat."
So many Black women either don't have the luxury, the self-esteem, or the resources to confront the mental health/emotional health issues we have been forced to carry within our bodies as a result of trauma we have endured. Self-care requires an embodied worthiness, a cultivated courage. Self-care requires that we literally embody the work.
Now is the time to lean into our own worthiness, to listen to and care for ourselves and our communities. Now is the time to name the truth, to prioritize the rest and care we need which honors our humanity. And we have the examples of those like Simone and Naomi who are unafraid to lead us into examples of rest, so that we can live as whole, fully human, Black women who embody their truth.
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