This past week, bated breath has been pervasive across the United States, as we continue to await results of a presidential election which may determine if our nation continues to be led toward demise by a selfish, lying, racist, misogynistic asshole, or perhaps down a new road by a compassionate, empathetic person with previous experience in the West Wing.
On top of the roughest year many of us can remember, we wait. After the coronavirus had caused us to endure months of quarantine. After mounting racial unrest and the murders of African Americans cried the names of those whose lives had been claimed by racist action. After months of smoke-filled air brought on by wildfires, the unexpected deaths of some of our most beloved, and the chronic stress of it all exacerbating what had already been going on in our personal lives, we then entered election season, ready or not. Running away is not an option, due to the failure of those in power to issue a cohesive response to an evolving virus, resulting in surging numbers of infection and borders closed to US Citizens.
We remain in varying levels of lock-down, within our own houses and our own borders. We are unable to un-see the division in our nation, the racism at work, the skies around us crying out. We are locked down, with few places to go or to look away to.
If this sounds dire, be encouraged that even in the darkest of times, there remains light. I have seen mountains moved in my own life during quarantine by means of an incredible job and a surprising and wonderful relationship, both which arrived when many were losing jobs and being forced to distance themselves from others due to COVID-19. I have witnessed friends make incredible changes in their lives during this time, by moving to Hawaii and starting their own private practices. The truth is that even in the darkest of times, there is hope and opportunity, if you remain plugged into the light. We were made for these times. Because I believe this in my bones, I trust that we are able to withstand the challenges (though they may be heinous) we face in the midst of these times.
That said, there is an opportunity set before us all to refuse to look away from the things with are broken, and instead begin to do something about them. So many of us are on edge, uptight, racing around in our cars, trying to escape personal realities while attempting to ignore corporate ones. But there is no resisting reality anymore. Resisting the fact that we live in a nation divided leads to rage, murder, and death. Not facing our emotional issues leads us to be short with our loved ones and terse with other people. Not facing the reality of the ideals this nation was founded on leads us down the same paths of systemic racism and discrimination again and again. Not wearing our masks because it is our right to do so kills my neighbor or your niece or the twenty-eight year old doctor trying to save lives. It’s time to change, time to refuse to look away, to be willing to be uncomfortable and begin the work of embracing one another.
There is grief, because for so long, there has not been acknowledgement of an entire group of people whose ancestors were brought here in chains, then systematically denied, discriminated against, and murdered. Perhaps after 401 years of the generational trauma of this experience and it’s denial, it is time we begin to figure out how to have a conversation which invites all of us to the table to show up as ourselves and begin to consider why it is so hard for us to embrace one another...no matter how much discomfort such a conversation evokes.
There is hope, because we find ourselves at a transition point in which the next leader of our nation and his second in command could represent a partnership across difference, and an administration which would set systems and policies (as well an examples) in place for us to do the same.
We are waiting with bated breath, America, but there is opportunity during this dire time. Opportunity for us to choose something new, to take a chance on a duo with a fresh perspective. Faced with this newness, will we or won’t we say “yes” to it? If we are honest with ourselves, aren’t there holes in the fabric which has been draped over us for too long? Might we be ready to try on a new garment whose threads may unite us all? For the first time in our nation’s history, are we ready to work together to make America perhaps not great, but good? Goodness is a good enough thing to aim for.
We wait, with bated breath, for the decision (of US) to arrive.
We hover there, in the middle.
In the space of bated breath is where hope and grief meet.
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